Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Trying to find a balance


I don’t know how people have the energy to do anything after a full day of work; when I get off of work, I am absolutely drained. As soon as I sit in my car after leaving my office, the last thing I want to do is…anything. I cringe if I need to pick up groceries, or if I need to get a haircut, or anything with any semblance of effort. When I get to my apartment, I suddenly sink into a state of laziness; it’s a struggle for me to even muster the energy to make dinner, and I often just order pizza or something along those lines.

As I’m chillin’ out, I turn on the news and get pissed off about whatever issue is going on. I think, “I should write about it.” But then I don’t. And those of you that know me get just how into politics and political discussion I am; I almost never pass up an opportunity to talk politics. This is just how drained I am, and I really don’t know how to avoid this post-workday state of mind.

Now, I don’t do hard labor or anything like that. I sit in a room with no windows, and spend the day dealing with IT issues. The phone rings constantly, to the point that I’m starting to have nightmares about the particular sound of the ringing of the office phones. 90% of the calls aren’t big deals per se, but due to the fact that my office specifically provides IT support to higher-level Air Force officers, every issue is a big deal. Most of these calls come from the higher-level officers’ executive officers, known in Air Force terminology as “execs,” and their desire to look good for their boss turns a number of them into unreasonable, scheming robots.

I don’t mean to bitch about my job; I realize that it could be worse (like working at my last office, the dreaded Help Desk *shudders*), and I have been the benefactor of certain perks, i.e. getting to do some extensive travelling this past year. Plus, my co-workers and supervisors are pretty cool and we try to laugh as much as possible throughout the workday. All things considered, it’s not as bad of a job as I make it sound (except for the part about the unreasonable execs - that shit is real) and I’ve learned a lot regarding IT in this job.

My struggle is trying to find a balance where I don’t come home completely drained, and where I don’t stay late everyday doing something that can wait until tomorrow, but also where I don’t go completely lax a-la Peter in “Office Space.” I think it’s possible – or at least I hope it is. A lot of other people are able to have a bunch of energy after work, and I envy that. I want it for myself. I definitely think it’s all psychological for me, and I need to change my mentality in order for me to not feel burnt out. But how? I’m strugglin’

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